out of sorts.

Do you ever have days like that? Where you just feel out of sorts, not yourself, like a stranger in your own body. Or maybe like you are on the outside watching life like a movie.

That was my day yesterday. I can't explain it. But I hate looking back at it. I'm glad it's behind me. It wasn't bad, nothing was wrong with the day. It was me. Not in a bad mood. Not in a good mood. Tired, but not sleepy. Not discontent, but not content either. I don't have days like this often, but I hate when they come.

I was blessed to see the rain and fog today. I needed some part of my world to close in on me, so I didn't feel so vulnerable. I almost hate sunny days, cause my ADHD spirit can't handle the wide openness of it. I wished for the sun to not come out this afternoon, as it began to peak through the clouds for a bit. I don't say that in a depressed manner, gray days are simply the best.

I woke up this morning to some amount of a reality check, like I was back on earth after yesterday. As much as I hated it, I understand more about myself today.. And shouldn't we all be thankful for understanding? Maybe I wouldn't have learned what I did if I wouldn't have felt so out of sorts and uncomfortable yesterday. What I understand more today:

• Honesty is the best policy. I couldn't live any other way. I want to know and I want to be able to say without fear.
• I have a naturally restless spirit, so I need to take time to make myself sit.
• Staying up late is always worth the conversation.
• Laundry on Thursday nights makes for a chill Friday.
• Packing a lunch is my least favorite thing currently.
• New music is my motivation.
• "The Way I See It" on Starbucks cups inspires or provokes me.
• Can I handle the seasons of my life? I don't know.