time.

Ever notice that we all have that clock in our lives that rule our days? There are several for me...But really they are everywhere. It drives me crazy. Especially on days that I can't stop looking at it, wishing time would move faster so I can move onto something else. Those are the days time moves the slowest. Glancing at that damn clock every ten minutes, if not less, creates the most aching, anxious feeling one could ever experience I think.



In August I went through a bit of time of trying new medications for my migraine problem. In the midst of this trial and error process I had a reaction to one of the medications I had tried. Showering early one morning I nearly passed out, or perhaps I did, cause after the flashing lights and blacking out I found myself lying on the bathroom floor, feet up on the toilet, soap still in my hair. All I can remember during this episode was me repeating to myself and praying "don't die. Lord please don't let me die like this, not now. please".



I realized after thinking through that I realize how frail our lives are. So precious really. We don't know when our time ends or how out of control we are over that. I read recently that the same God who gives us every breath, can take it away just as easily as He gives it. Holy cow. Think about that one. How precious our time here is. And how often do we find ourselves wishing minutes, hours, days, and weeks way?



In recent days I have found myself wishing time away more and more. To the point of doing whatever I can to just push through a day to get to the next, cause somewhere in my mind that makes everything go faster. I want to jump ahead so bad. I want this time to come or that time to come, or this to happen or that. And I realize in doing that I lost time. Here and now are important. I need to live today to take in every lesson, have every conversation that needs to be had, to come in contact with all God intends me to, and have the time He needs me to go through before everything else.

"she broke down the other day you know. some things in life may change, but some things they stay the same, like time. there's always time on my mind so pass me by I'll be fine just give me time" (older chests by damien rice)

Time. There's always time. There is a time for everything, for every activity under the sun. I can't make time go any faster. It is what it is, but how I live that effects it. Christ came to give me life to live to the fullest. I want to take it in. Love every moment, even the ones I hate, cause someday I may miss those times.